I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
