Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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