And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
