remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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