I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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