Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
