when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
