so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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