This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
