It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
