Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
