My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
