It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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