well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
