Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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