I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He shit in the fireplace
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
