Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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