i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
