Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
bring money and cleavage
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
