How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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