i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This baby is an asshole
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
