There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
