apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
