YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
