they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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