I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
