I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
there is glitter all over my balls
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
