There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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