Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
