Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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