Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
