i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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