I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
