addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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