my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You ruined the universe
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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