I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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