Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
