Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
