I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You pole danced in your parka.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
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apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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