You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
