WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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