It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
