We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
