For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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