She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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