You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
