Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize