I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
