good thing vaginas are great cup holders
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
