Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
