There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
