I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
