So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
