It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he shaved USA in his pubs
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
