I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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