i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
