Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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