i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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