I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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