i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?