if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
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last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then