If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
